Just Don’t Look {yet}

I have a new philosophy in life.  Applying it has begun to save me a lot of stress.  It’s simple in theory. Just Don’t Look This idea came to me in the car.  I have four children and one on … Continue reading

Confront{ation}: denoting a result or product of action

“Can I be completely honest with you,” my friend asked me one evening as we lounged together.  These words have become comfortingly familiar.  She is a woman whose friendship has become a source of life and strength.  I often walk … Continue reading

No Weapon?

Think about it… “No weapon formed against me will prosper…” What does this really mean? Of course there are the spiritual weapons… trials, temptation, deception… but the verse doesn’t say, “no SPIRITUAL weapon formed against you will prosper,” it says, … Continue reading

Psalm 91 {of mighty miracles}

to look; to direct your eyes toward something or someone, to think about a situation or subject carefully, to closely examine, a visual search or examination.
to approach;to come near to in quality, character, time or condition, to come within range.
recompense; make amends for loss or harm suffered, to compensate, compensation or reward given for loss or harm suffered.

Holy Spirit, how many wonders do you have? How can I possibly praise you enough for the miracles I have seen with my own eyes?  You have made the impossible a reality, brought dreams to life and in miraculous ways You have protected those who know and love You.  I have only to look back over my brief life to see the events that betray Your hand at work on my behalf, protecting me from dangers, sickness and even death.  You have surrounded me, enveloped me and encased me in Your very presence.  Though many have fallen prey and some have passed away, You have kept Your steadfast hand upon me.  Lord, please, wake up the ones You love, who listen to Your voice, rise up in us the voice to call out for those who do not yet know the protection and healing, the life and power, You afford us at our invitation.  Give us the voice and the faith to stand in Your grace and to pull others in with us, to know and to love You.  Thank You for Your faithful action at the promise of Your Word.  That those who turn away from sin, the arrogance of hurting others for the sake of selfish gain, the arrogance of our own understanding and pride in our own achievements without acknowledgement of You, of foolishness and ignorance; they are securely protected in You.  Teach us all to know You, and to love like You so that we are all covered in Your promise.  Amen.

“A thousand may fall at your side and ten thousand at your right hand, but it shall not approach you. You will only look on with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.”

Intercession

I can hear it…. my fingers feel it… a melody, and a song written somewhere just beyond my reach.

My fingers touch the keys. Stiff. Longing. Untrained. Aching…

So many things well up within me.  Things I don’t have the words to speak, or to write.  Wonderful things.  Mourning things.  Things heavy with both joy and sorrow; the ache of loss a friend has to face… the triumph of a victory for a family member… desperation for one to understand and another to find relief, to find escape.  To speak to all the love that is power, compassion, comfort and strength.  To say clearly the perfect words each ear needs to hear, each heart needs to feel… to know.

I will my fingers to fly over the keys, to pen out the things I contain deep inside, to reach the impossible depths and retrieve the unknown language locked away… Literally just beyond my grasp!

There is mercy, favor unmerited, and grace, the power to be what we cant possibly… the link is belief. The key is faith. The force is love.  And it is right here… right here.

And so, I lift my hands and rest my palms.  I pray.  I lift my heart’s cry to the One who hears, who knows without being told, who understands that language I cannot fathom, and who has all the answers.  I pray.  And I pray.  And I pray.

The tears run for those who are hurting.  Praises leave my lips for those who are rejoicing.  A silencing ache fills my chest for those who are suffering.  And for those who are lost, loosing their way… for them I let out a shout.  A plea.  A sound in the dark, in hopes their ears might hear and they might know they are not alone.  Not even close to being alone.

I see their faces.  Many I know.  Many I love.  Some I’ve never seen before.  For everyone I let my heart speak… His words covering my own, His thoughts reaching the depths of emotion, His love flowing farther than I can imagine…

In this way, together, His hands over mine, we write the melodies and we sing the songs that bring the changes we long to see.

Holy are You, Lord.  Holy are You! Above all else, and every other name. You are I AM, the One who cares.  The One who loves.  The One who saves. Mighty is Your name.  You are like no other.  Mighty is Your name!

 

{the silence} In a Heartbeat

In the background are the faded noises of busy laughter, the business of getting dinner on the table, dishes unloaded, and the day’s events downloaded by each tiny muffled voice.

A heart beat thrums steadily in my ears.

Beautiful.  Life.  Steady.

A grounded, rhythmic lifeline to all that seems so incredibly important, and so indefinably fragile… a heartbeat thrums steadily in the silence… 

The flutter in my chest rises.  I should be with them.  Did I tell them I love them today?  Did I yell at them too much?  Do they know that I love them?  What memories have we made?  Will they remember that I love them? Does he know how grateful I am? Will he know how much I love him? Does he know how important he is to me? More muffled laughter and clinking plates…

Anxiety flitters around, searching for a place to land… NO.  I breath in.  I breath out.

A grounded, rhythmic lifeline to all that seems so incredibly important, and so indefinably fragile… a heartbeat thrums steadily in the silence… refusing a resting place for anxiety.

I breath in.  I breath out.  A heart beat thrums steadily in my ears.  But one persistent question looks for a spot to land…

Am I doing enough?

My Bible and three books that I long to read lay tossed around me.  My journal just a few inches away.  Tears roll down my cheeks as I realize how much I long to do more, to soak up more, to understand more and to live from a depth that draws my family in… to envelope them in the same love and life that has begun to consume me.  I long for my husband to know how truly head-over-heals in love with him I am; to show him every day the love that builds him up and pulls him closer, always closer. To shower my children with adoration in measure with the miracles that they are.

Longing.  Is it all just a longing?

A stream of scenes roll across my mind as this questions looms larger than life. Feelings… less than loving… rush like rapids over my lungs, and I am gasping and choking on the tears as I recall words, thoughts, attitudes, emotions, all proving me to be completely lacking.  Failing.

For a fleeting moment I am trapped in this tug-of-war with anxiety…

The rhythm… steady… beautiful… life.  I breath in. I breath out.

Life steadily pounds in my ears.  I hear my name.  Just a whisper.  A life-line.

What do you want to say, Lord?

“Daughter, you measure up.  You do enough.  You are amazing in My eyes.  I am pleased.  So much more than you know, Child.  I love that you are here, with Me.  Waiting, listening.   Daughter, you are forever searching out My thoughts, seeking My heart.  I know your deepest desires and I love you for them.  Daughter, you treasure Me and what I think. You keep Me in the center of all you do, even when you forget, you are quick to remember.  I look at you and I see Perfection.  Thank you for coming away.  Thank you for valuing Me enough to step into the quiet places, to trust Me with the welfare of those babies I knit together.  Thank you for loving Me.  You are enough.”

In the quiet, steady, silence I can hear it.  His heart beating; beating steadily for me.

Beautiful life; His living in me, His power at work through me, on my behalf.

You Speak – Audry Assad

{prayers} Of Intercession

With the children tucked into bed and the tea steeped and steaming, the house quiet and the heat filtering through vents, I peak out the window.  Frost is already visible, glinting silver on blades of dying grass and bare twigs in naked trees.

The moon is low and and full, as if the light it carries is a heavy weight tonight.

Below the fog is lifting up from the wetlands and the evergreens on the foothills across the fields appear black and dense, with the flickering train light dancing airily through the bends over the river’s bridge, into the open for a moment, then back into dense black.

These moments, alone in my room after hours of being surrounded by people, these moments are the most precious and the most daunting.  In the quiet I see the faces of those I’ve smiled at, loved on and been loved by, spoken to… I see their eyes… and I see so much more.

I see the weight of life, the struggling words within.

I see joy, I see futures and hope.

So much.

I hear words.  Words that they shared, these beautiful people.  Words accounting for things I’ve seen, and words hiding the things behind their eyes… words of secret pleading.  Words of truth and words of masked uncertainty.  Insecurity and expectation blend together as, in the silence, these words refill my ears.

Then the Lord invites me in.

It’s a place that inhabits my room, and opens up from within my mind; a peeling back of a veil and a stepping through in thought that I can feel in the air I sit in and draw breath from.  Into this place I carry all these wonderful people, their eyes and their words.  Everything that I have seen, I bring here.

Face to face and side by side, His arm around me, His presence pressing lightly down, surrounding me.  I know the sound of His voice so clearly and it brings a soothing calm.  I used to come here dressed in armor, ready to do battle in His name.  What silly girl I was!  Like going to bed with shoes on, is how I would enter this secret, intimate place.

Now, we sit in the quiet together.  He already knows everything that I come to Him with.  He knows each and every name, has seen each and every eye and heard each and every word.  It was at His invitation that I was able to see; and together we speak the necessary words back, the healing words, the cleansing words.  Words of comfort, of hope and of acceptance that each one needs.  At times He invites me to pick up pen and paper and write a note that He speaks to one or another.  At times I read His Word instead, and occasionally speak it out loud, back to Him.  And sometimes we simply weep together, for there are some things that no words can heal.

I feel His heart beat, He is that close, and I know His smile, the astounding love in His eyes that breaks with the gut wrenching pain of some whom we have seen and heard.  I have seen His jealousy, and know His patience well.  His compassion is endless, His kindness so immense.

Every moment we are together changes me.

Every moment spent in His presence within this secret space fills me with something I cannot explain. I carry it back with me.  Peace.  Grace.  Understanding?  Thanksgiving.  Humility.  Adoration…

And before drifting off to sleep I often hear, “Thank you, Child,” and I feel the gentle embrace of His presence enfolding me within His love.

“I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”      Mark 11:24

Finding God

Let us be determined to look for God in all things at all times.” –Joyce

Sometimes the evidence that God is at work isn’t the blessings that fill life, but the struggles.

Sometimes the evidence that we are making progress, spiritually breaking ground and acquiring the victory, is the hours of turmoil; financial stress, emotional heaviness, mental battles and physical calamities that fall at exactly {what we perceive to be} the wrong times, or in those “random” moments.

The Lord said to me, “When I move into action, you will see your enemy’s reaction.

He spoke this to me too, “I tell you this so that you will not be taken by surprise, but be aware and be alert.  For what I AM doing will at first be unseen, before your eyes will be able to grasp all I have accomplished for you.

So often when turmoil stirs up the dust in life, it is easy to only see discomfort and unrest.  It is so easy to focus on how the enemy is reacting that we often forget to look for God.  To look At God.  

There are times when the blessing is that God is at work in such ways as to cause our enemy so much fear that he reacts – seeking to get us so caught up in his ways that we forget Who deserves our attention.

The blessing in these times is that we have an opportunity to express faith.  It isn’t what God is doing for us, but Who God is {what motivates Him to do on our behalf} that is critical.  His greatest desire being that He is known by us, in relationship with us; intimately engaging in knowing us.

As with any relationship on earth, there has to be a willingness to risk faith that a person is who they say they are as we get to know them in all kinds of circumstances.

 

Knowing the God who Created us intimately, being known by Him, will change this world.  It is this that our enemy fears.  He fears this because he knows the truth of who God is.  And, it is this truth that motivates him to manipulate, disguise, disrupt, even destroy, as much as he is allowed to  touch.

My prayer for myself, my family and for you, is that we take every opportunity, every circumstance, every challenge and hour of turmoil to risk faith in God being Who He says He is.  That in this way, as our enemy reacts to His actions on our behalf, we engage in relating with, knowing and being known by the God who created us and then loves us.  That the blessings that fill this life fill every moment, whether in calm or storm.

Boldness

Boldness, I pray.  For words and courages and enough to express.

There are people hurting and needing to hear of love and hope and grace.  Thing I have.

Boldness to speak, please.  I pray for courage and words, for ways to express what I have to offer, not I but someone perfect.

Courage; doing something despite fear.  Boldness; the willingness to risk

What do I have to loose?

Boldness I pray, please dear Lord, boldness to speak and to pray.