Five Years Ago Today…

It’s our 5-year anniversary for one of the sweetest miracles we have walked through. Joshua Iason Noah was born in the evening of September 17th, weighing just barely 6lbs, being induced early for safety reasons and deciding to arrive so … Continue reading

Confront{ation}: denoting a result or product of action

“Can I be completely honest with you,” my friend asked me one evening as we lounged together.  These words have become comfortingly familiar.  She is a woman whose friendship has become a source of life and strength.  I often walk … Continue reading

Psalm 91 {Most High}

To dwell; live in or at a specified place, to think, speak or write at length about.
Shelter; a place to live, receive protection and food.
To abide; accept or act in accordance with.
Shadow; area where direct light cannot reach due to an obstruction.

Lord Jesus, You are magnificent, mighty and strong.  Thank you for what you accomplished in your life on this earth, in your Word, and in your death on my behalf. Thank you for returning to us Holy Spirit, dwelling among us still, as power, comfort, peace, strength, portion, life and love.  You set up each day for me in accordance with what is good and what will bring the best in my present and future reality.  You lead me through my day with every protection and nurturing I need and you hover over me with your presence, never leaving me. You are formidable, my aly and my counsel.  So long as I constantly return to you, I am kept from harm and given promotion in every good way.  As I accept your wisdom, your leading and learn to discern your dialect, I am protected as you obstruct every effort of those who desire to cause me harm, to steal, kill and destroy what is good in my life. As I develop patience and as I yield to your plans, despite what I lack in understanding, I learn that you are trustworthy and you work on my behalf.  I am safe when I know your presence and ways in my life and when I do and speak according to your Word.  Amen.

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty, I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!'”

Intercession

I can hear it…. my fingers feel it… a melody, and a song written somewhere just beyond my reach.

My fingers touch the keys. Stiff. Longing. Untrained. Aching…

So many things well up within me.  Things I don’t have the words to speak, or to write.  Wonderful things.  Mourning things.  Things heavy with both joy and sorrow; the ache of loss a friend has to face… the triumph of a victory for a family member… desperation for one to understand and another to find relief, to find escape.  To speak to all the love that is power, compassion, comfort and strength.  To say clearly the perfect words each ear needs to hear, each heart needs to feel… to know.

I will my fingers to fly over the keys, to pen out the things I contain deep inside, to reach the impossible depths and retrieve the unknown language locked away… Literally just beyond my grasp!

There is mercy, favor unmerited, and grace, the power to be what we cant possibly… the link is belief. The key is faith. The force is love.  And it is right here… right here.

And so, I lift my hands and rest my palms.  I pray.  I lift my heart’s cry to the One who hears, who knows without being told, who understands that language I cannot fathom, and who has all the answers.  I pray.  And I pray.  And I pray.

The tears run for those who are hurting.  Praises leave my lips for those who are rejoicing.  A silencing ache fills my chest for those who are suffering.  And for those who are lost, loosing their way… for them I let out a shout.  A plea.  A sound in the dark, in hopes their ears might hear and they might know they are not alone.  Not even close to being alone.

I see their faces.  Many I know.  Many I love.  Some I’ve never seen before.  For everyone I let my heart speak… His words covering my own, His thoughts reaching the depths of emotion, His love flowing farther than I can imagine…

In this way, together, His hands over mine, we write the melodies and we sing the songs that bring the changes we long to see.

Holy are You, Lord.  Holy are You! Above all else, and every other name. You are I AM, the One who cares.  The One who loves.  The One who saves. Mighty is Your name.  You are like no other.  Mighty is Your name!

 

Processing a Miracle

How do you process a brush with death when it isn’t your brush?

Twelve years ago, a month before our wedding, my fiance’s mother was admitted into the ICU with Septic Shock.  She had a strep bacteria in her bood and it caused her to be placed in an induced coma and on a ventilator.  At one point we were told she wouldn’t make it.  We took turns by her bed around the clock, praying. God heard our prayers and the hospital staff called her a miracle.  She was out of ICU by the time we got married, and our wedding party pictures were taken at the hospital with her.  She was alive to meet her frist grandchild.

Five years later we were back in ICU, this time to say good-bye to my mother-in-law.  She was back on the ventilator, this time the coma wasn’t induced.  Her brain was infected, and it was shutting her body down.  We stood around her as a whole family this time.  Her husband, three sons and wives.  Six grandchildren waited for their parents to come home.  This time we watched her slowly slip away, peacefully.  Her chest just stilling.  This time, we didn’t hear the word “miracle” from anyone.

A week ago I walked back down an ICU hallway.  It was a different hospital.  A different mother.

This time, it was my mom.

It’s funny what your mind thinks up when you face the potential of loosing something, someone.  I remembered my mother-in-law’s face, the breathing tubes, the IVs and number of bags hanging hear by.  I remembered the beep of her ventilator, the numbers of her oxygen and heart rate.  I remembered the smell of her room and the feel of her skin.  The color of her nails, and the nail polish I’d painted on her toes for the last time.  All these things flooded to the front of my mind with each step down the hall in this ICU ward.

The text from my dad had given a few details.  He’d taken her into the ER the night before and she started loosing blood pressure.  Nothing they were doing to her was increasing it.  Her blood tests came back full of infection.  They’d admitted her to the ICU, in need of immediate surgery but unable to stabilize her. Surgery would kill her.  A doctor told my dad that he thought there was a 70/30 chance he could do something to help, it was a risk, but doing nothing was killing her.

The tests came back.  My mother’s blood was full of a strep bacteria.  She had Septic Shock.

The doctor who took a risk saved her life.

I walked into her room and her eyes met mine.  She had an oxygen tube in her nose, but that was all.  She had the pic-line in her neck, and some IV sites on her arm, but that was it.  She only had six bags of fluids hanging near her, and there was only one machine tracking stats.   She spoke to me.

My husband couldn’t wait to flee.  I didn’t want to leave her side.

I was afraid that if I took my eyes off of her, left her room, that I might walk back in and see the ventilator covering her face, miss her eyes looking back and mine… not hear her voice again.  I knew, just by looking at her that she was going to be fine.  But I wanted to keep looking at her.  To keep reassuring myself that she would be just fine.

How do you process this?  How do you get your emotions to line up with your mind so that you can comprehend all that is taking place?  All that didn’t happen…

Another miracle.

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Thankful

After several days of storms, looking out my window this morning as the sun streaks through huge clouds and blue sky sneaks out, I can’t help but want to sing! It is a beautiful sight after so much darkness and … Continue reading

Miraculous Strain

Miracles need room to grow.

When you receive a miracle there is a kind of stretching and straining as it develops within your life.   The stretching expands and the straining grows, to increases you, so that you acquire the capacity to maintain life within your miracle.  And, miracles make way for more miracles… if you learn to increase and allow yourself to grow, until pretty soon you no longer see the constraints of the life you used to live.

The life you had before you got your first miracle.

If you are still waiting for your miracle, hang in there and keep believing – it’s coming.

If you wonder how to receive a miracle, check your belief…

Are you preparing to receive what you are believing for?  Do you take active steps toward the miraculous?  Are the words you speak breathing life into your beliefs or shackling you to a life of wishful longing?   And, are your expectations of the miraculous in line with the One who establishes all miracles?

If you think you are exempt from miracles, I challenge you to rethink that thought ;)!

Measure Of Your Value

What standard are you living by?  What do you measure yourself against?  When you look into the mirror, what do you see?  How do you feel?  What do you allow to influence your life?  Question I am confronted by today. … Continue reading