Letting {that thought} Go

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” -Proverbs 23:7

I confess.  I am a control freak.

Maybe not in the ways typically attributed to those more dominating, loud, dynamic people who can control a room just by walking in.  But in my personal little world, I freak out when things fall beyond the bounds of what I consider to be within my control.

Parenting is a great example.  Have you ever noticed that being a control freak in the parenting arena doesn’t exactly promote a good marital relationship?

I have!  I get downright anxious when my children, and husband for that matter, behave in ways that go beyond my control, or contradict what I believe I should be able to control.  Sound like a control freak?  It does to me.

A trusted friend gently brought this up.  She was honest and compassionate, but wasn’t about to let us off the hook.

The thing is, control is a total facade.  It is a form of mental comfort that is a complete lie and can leave us in shattered pieces when reality evaporates it’s foggy walls.  Control comes in many shades of freakishness, some more subtle than others.  However, the truth about control is that the only thing we have complete control over is how we think, and thus, respond, to the course of life.

An uglier truth about control is that unless we learn to release control, it is a mental state with a slow death sentence.

Have you noticed lately that anxiety attacks seem to be an epidemic in our culture?  And have you counted all the physical side effects that anxiety induced by stress causes?  It floored me when I took the time to learn something about this topic.

I have been experiencing an anomaly lately:  The wide open freedom of releasing control.  As well as the contrast of the suffocating anxiety that returns when I panic and try to regain some of that control. {which was never lost to me because it was never really mine}

For me, realizing that I truly do not lack a thing has catapulted me into this anomaly. When it comes right down to it, the budget may be tight, but I have experienced first hand the miraculous provision Christ promises us,(Phl 4:19).  My husband may let me down, and my kids may act out, but I have a perfect defender in Christ, to deflect all accusations my enemy whispers or speaks through well intentioned people,(Psalm32:10).  I will fall very short of my own standard, let-alone others who hold higher standards, but I have been made perfect through the sacrifice of Christ, and that is how He views me, treats me and loves me,(Ephesians 2:8). I am not going to know how to react in all circumstances, but Christ has promised that He will never leave me, will place words in my mouth at the right time, and will guard and protect my life in Him,(Psalm 5:11).

Letting these truths sink in and become center stage in my thought life has given me a new view on life – on what I can and cannot control.  I may still be a freak… but as His Truth works its way into my thought life I will no longer be a control freak.

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