What Do You Live For That You Are Willing To Die For?

Nothing can stop a fully surrendered life.

Are you living to make history?  Are you living to impact this world?  Or do you simply just live in it?  When you die, what will you be most remembered for?  Are you fulfilling your purpose? What do you live for that is worth dying for? These are questions that roll around in my mind.

I think back to when my daughter was born.  She is a gift that changed my life forever, and she was not in my original plans.  She came about 4 years too early, according to the goals and accomplishments I was trying to achieve.  Yet, she came anyway.  She came and I haven’t been the same since.  Nor have I achieved those goals or accomplishments that I originally laid out so carefully for myself.

My husband and I had gotten away for a weekend shortly after we were married.  The goal was to map out a plan for the first five years of our marriage, per the advice of a counselor.  We did this, and then prayed a prayer: Lord, we surrender these plans to you, and thank you for providing for each step of the way.

I didn’t realize then that surrendering my plans might mean that the end goals and dreams had to disappear.  I didn’t think that God would totally erase my goals.  I only expected Him to tweak the plans along the way.  Yet, with the birth of my daughter, most of my goals, dreams and plans had to disappear in order to make room for her.

The arrival of my daughter heralded in a whole new reason to live; gave my life a whole new set of purposes.  Her presence set the course of my life on a completely different trajectory.  And now, going on the 10th year of her existence,  I realize that what I am living for isn’t to achieve my goals or accomplish my dreams, new or old.

My sole purpose here are earth is to live a fully surrendered life.

I am beginning to realize that in full surrender, giving complete authority over my life to my Creator, is where I will find and fulfill my purpose; my destiny in this life.  And, that part of surrendering is allowing the process of death to work it’s fullness throughout the areas that God needs to edit.  That when I say, “I give my life to You, Lord,” I am stating that I am willing to die in every area that does not accomplish what He has planned for the meaning of my life here on earth.

By this, I live for a purpose worth dying for.

The amazing part is that though I will not accomplish my dreams, the gift of my daughter; the gift of her presence in my life having altered my course, established more clearly my destiny, is one I would gladly give up every dream for all over again.  Because, through the death of the dreams I once had, I now have vision for dreams that are worth far more when they are brought into reality.

And it is not that my dreams before my daughter’s presence were bad, or wrong.  They simply were not big enough.

Death precedes destiny, I believe, because what we hope for ourselves is far too small, yet we become consumed with the vision of it. The only way to clear our eyes is to allow the removal of whatever hinders our view of that which is far greater, far more valuable, and beyond what we can imagine in our current state.

One truth I have come to realize; the tighter we hold onto our plans, visions and dreams, the more painful the death of them is.   A dream and a plan fully surrendered to God may have to die, but when fully surrendered, the death of it is a matter of grieving and reestablishing a bigger reality.  When clung to, a dream starts to define our identity, and therefore when it has to die in oder for us to really live, we believe our identity is dying, and the pain of it is much greater to bare.  But, the incredible joy of being defined in far larger terms is worth every moment of a dying process.

Luke 22:42, John 17:4, John 18:4-6, John 18:37, Galatians 2:20, Acts 20:22-24 ~ courtesy of Brad Makowski’s sermon on 4/1/12


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