With only a few minutes counting down on my timer I stare at a blinking line, a blank page before me.
I am stumped.
What do I write? What inspires me? Why am I doing this?
A sunflower seed cannot bloom into a rose. Neither can I be who I am not.
But who am I?
Wouldn’t it be great if we came in a labeled packet with instructions and a picture of what we will one day be? Life would take on a whole new meaning and rhythm. Purpose would be obvious, inevitable and inescapable.
The thing is, I didn’t come in a clearly labeled packet with instructions and a picture. I entered this world with only one thing. The power of choice.
And there are days when that power of choice feels pretty powerless. Because I don’t know what to choose. Because I am afraid of choosing wrong. Because I can’t see the picture of me that I am supposed to be. Not in the middle of life, when life pours fully drenching rains down, soaking and scattering bits and pieces of me. When kids are kids and time is spent and money is gone and bills are due and sickness lingers and friends are human and it keeps coming…
But when a clear whisper reaches my heart. When I feel roots pushing down beneath my toes. When all the rain sinks in, a string of words so crystal clear ring in;
“Your life is not about who you are supposed to be, it is about who I am to others through your life.”
Here is when I know; no pictured instructions packet needed.
Just faith. I choose.
That the next step I take is Him working out His design.
Just awe that He chose me.
Just one breath in and one breath out, head bowed, knees bent, feet rooted down, arms spread wide to receive the rain. Until He lifts me up. And then I will see.
This is my inspired destiny.
“If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.” ~ 1Corinthians 13:2